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Building A Strong Marriage Foundation.
If you’re newlywed or currently planning your wedding, you may have started to consider what kinds of things you can do to make sure that you and your significant other are setting yourselves up for building a strong marriage foundation. The early years of your relationship are the perfect time to focus on building a strong marriage foundation that supports growth and emotional safety. Marriage is a beautiful journey that requires effort, understanding, and commitment. For newlywed couples, the early years are crucial for establishing a strong foundation that will support a long and healthy life together. Oftentimes many of us don’t have a great example for for what ingredients go into a successful relationship. This is especially difficult for newlyweds, as people tend to go into marriage and each subconsciously start attempting to recreate the environments in which they grew up. It’s very important for couples starting out, once the wedding bells stop ringing, to lean into each other in order to build a strong foundation for their marriage.
Here are ten essential tips that can help for newlywed couples starting out set themselves up for a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment.
Open & Honest Communication
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. Open and honest dialogue allows you to share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment. Discuss both the positive and negative aspects of your relationship and listen actively to your partner. Regular check-ins about your day, your dreams, and any issues that may arise will help maintain open lines of communication and prevent misunderstandings.
“…38% [of divorced couples] report financial problems as a divorce cause.”
Smith, J. (2023, January 15). Divorce statistics and facts in 2023. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics
Set Financial Goals Together
Money can often be a major source of stress in marriages. To avoid financial conflicts, it’s essential to discuss your financial situation openly and set both short-term and long-term goals together. Create a budget that outlines your income, expenses, and savings. Discuss your financial priorities, such as buying a home, starting a family, or saving for retirement. Working together to manage your finances will help you build a sense of teamwork and avoid the pitfalls that come with financial disagreements. For More on budgeting check out our guide to help newlywed couples budget together. From finances to intimacy, every choice you make together contributes to building a strong marriage foundation that can weather life’s changes.
Prioritize Quality Time
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy for couples to drift apart. To keep your relationship strong, make it a priority to spend quality time together. This doesn’t necessarily mean grand gestures or expensive outings; sometimes, the simplest activities can be the most meaningful. Whether it’s a weekly date night, a shared hobby, or even just a quiet evening at home, the key is to stay connected and enjoy each other’s company. Quality time strengthens your bond and reminds you of the love and affection that brought you together. Quality time should never be seen as a luxury—it’s a pillar in building a strong marriage foundation that prioritizes connection over distraction.
Establish Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are crucial for maintaining individuality within a marriage. Discuss and establish boundaries regarding personal space, time with friends, and family involvement. Yes, every relationship, even your marriage- especially your marriage, must have clear and present boundaries. Respecting each other’s boundaries helps prevent feelings of suffocation and ensures that both partners have the freedom to pursue their interests and maintain their identities. Clear boundaries also facilitate mutual respect and understanding, which are essential for a harmonious relationship. Even small, intentional habits like expressing gratitude or setting boundaries play a key role in building a strong marriage foundation.
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A great book that has helped us get a handle on healthy boundaries in our marriage is Boundaries by Henry Cloud.
Resolve Conflicts Constructively
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how you handle it can make all the difference. Learn and practice healthy conflict resolution techniques, such as staying calm, avoiding blame, and focusing on finding solutions rather than winning arguments. When disagreements arise, take a step back, breathe, and approach the situation with a problem-solving mindset. By addressing conflicts constructively, you can strengthen your relationship and build a deeper understanding of each other.
Show Appreciation & Gratitude
Expressing appreciation and gratitude is a powerful way to reinforce positive behaviors and enhance your emotional connection. Make it a habit to regularly acknowledge and thank your partner for their efforts, whether big or small. This can be as simple as saying “thank you” for doing the dishes or expressing gratitude for their support during a challenging time. Small acts of appreciation can have a significant impact on your relationship, fostering a positive and loving atmosphere.
Maintain Intimacy
Physical and emotional intimacy are both essential components of a healthy marriage. Make efforts to keep the romance alive and ensure that intimacy remains a priority in your relationship. This can include physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, and holding hands, as well as emotional closeness through deep conversations, shared experiences or sex. Maintaining intimacy helps to strengthen your bond and keeps the spark alive in your relationship.
Plan For The Future Together
Having a shared vision for the future is vital for building a strong partnership. Discuss your dreams, goals, and plans, whether they involve career aspirations, travel, starting a family, or other significant life events. By aligning your goals and working together to achieve them, you can ensure that you are moving in the same direction. A shared vision fosters a sense of unity and purpose, making your journey together more meaningful and rewarding.
Support Each Other’s Growth
Encouraging and supporting each other’s personal and professional growth is crucial for a healthy marriage. Celebrate your partner’s achievements and be there to support them during challenging times. Show interest in their passions and provide encouragement for their pursuits. By nurturing each other’s growth, you create a supportive and empowering environment that allows both partners to thrive.
Seek Help When Needed
No marriage is without its challenges, and sometimes, seeking outside help can be beneficial. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help, such as marriage counseling or therapy, if needed. A trained therapist can provide tools and strategies to navigate difficulties and strengthen your relationship. But you can’t wait until your relationship is taking its final breath to reach out for help. Nor is it the time to reach out to that one friend or family member who never really liked your significant other, or that bitter friend or auntie –
who would fill your head with gloom and doom horror stories pertaining to marriage and divorce. It’s the time to remember your supporters who genuinely support your union and want to see you succeed. Sometimes that looks like spending and afternoon with a set of grandparents who have been happily married for 30+ years, or talking to a chaplain. When you’re struggling in your relationship seeking help is not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step towards ensuring the health and longevity of your marriage.
If you’re serious about long-term happiness, building a strong marriage foundation should be at the top of your priority list as newlyweds. Building a long and healthy marriage requires effort, commitment, and a willingness to grow together. By focusing on these ten essential practices—communicating openly, setting financial goals, prioritizing quality time, establishing boundaries, resolving conflicts constructively, showing appreciation, maintaining intimacy, planning for the future, supporting each other’s growth, and seeking help when needed—newlywed couples can create a strong foundation for a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment. Remember, a successful marriage is not about perfection, but about partnership, perseverance, and the continuous effort to nurture and cherish your relationship.
References:
Smith, J. (2023, January 15). Divorce statistics and facts in 2023. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics
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